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    May 07

    致2005

    hi,最近过得好吗?
    很久没有联系了,对了,很久是多久呢?几个月,又或是几年?
    我现在坐在公交车上,开上高架时夕阳照过前一个人的头顶,在眼前湖对岸的城市就好像走进了明信片一样。
    这是你永远也看不到的景象,此时,此地,和前面那个人泛黄但是自然的头发。
     
    回想四年前的今天,你穿着校服,擦着上课睡着后流到课桌上的口水,然后小心翼翼地看看四周的人有没有发觉。
    回家后锁上门偷听最喜欢的CD,拉开抽屉,也会为突然发现曾经遗失的某样文具而开心不已,自动笔的橡皮或是笔盖。
    你抱着随身听录些幼稚的话,背景音乐用来保暖催眠,或者在橙色的灯光下练练瑜伽,也让那幅“饿狼传说”的荧光拼图吸吸光。
    支一个架子贴着水写纸,照猫画虎写自己的瘦金体,偶尔心情好也拿出毡子和宣纸,就算一切都是纸上谈兵。
    就这样度过红亮亮虚晃晃的五月,以前去了华山,没走长空栈道,没下鹞子翻山,去看了海,赶着潮落,坐了渔船,而以后更爱听广播放流行金曲。
     
    十二月的雪,在路灯上飘着的影子也是黑色的,路像是孤单的肩膀撑着豪华的舞台,布景会很真实地砸下来。
    春天的紫藤和玉兰压着甜甜的三月,秋天的香樟和银杏举起忐忑的十一月,不用《照相本子》,你的情绪也一样走过四季。
    不浪费粮食,不虚度光阴,不关心时事,不注意形象,不热闹喧哗。
     
    偶尔允许自己回想,哪怕是一下下。有时挺想你,现在的我又是这样。
    是不是又有在缝隙中求生存的感觉呢,
    是过去冲太快,还是现在站在路口停太久而忘记目的地了?
    也许我应该羞愧,也许我继续无畏。
     
    久未联系,在另一个世界,你又是怎样?
    很久是多久,没有你的消息,多久都不算久。
     

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